Alone I Break
by PsychoSeraphJei
Summary: Suicidal Themes. When Depression hits Elizabeth Potter(The unknown Older sister of Harry), who's there to pick her back up? Snape, you silly!
1. Back to Hogwarts

Chapter 1

The Fifth year at Hogwarts had come far too soon for Harry and Elizabeth's liking and the time was still flying by. Weeks had gone by since the first day of school, and times seemed extremely hard for the last of the Potter familly. Elizabeth was sinking deeper and deeper into depression. Her favorite teacher, Professor Severus Snape, hadn't been to school once since the beginning of the year. She knew where he was, and it frightened her to no end. He was in Voldemort's inner circle, spying on Voldemort and waiting to see what his next move would be.

No one would believe her when she told them last year that Voldemort knew that Snape wasn't on the Dark side anymore. She told everyone that Voldemort had sworn to kill Snape. No one would listen. She pleaded and begged him to stay. He ignored her and left. But that shine of fear in his eyes made her think that perhaps he was expecting death.

Elizabeth's dilemma wasn't being made any easier by her friends. Nearly all had abandoned her. Last year, during the Triwizard tournament, Elizabeth's most treasured item that was taken away during the second task was Snape. With the help of Rita Skeeter's huge newspaper article bending and distorting the truth, everyone had already guessed the secret life of Elizabeth; she was in love with Snape. Of course, she had denied everything, but once again no one would believe her.

She had never felt so alone before in her life. Even Draco had stopped hanging around her. He had given up chasing after her and was now with Arachne Tennet, Elizabeth's best friend. Elizabeth's other friend, Echo Falguni, spent so much time writing notes to her boyfriend in the muggle world that she had no time for Elizabeth anymore. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were of little comfort, seeing how most of the Gryffindors were so against her since last year.

Fred wouldn't let George near her after the Triwizard Tournament. Neville was far too frightened to get near her, fearing Snape would show up and punish him for being with his "girlfriend". It was finally just decided that Elizabeth was just going to have to tough it out on her own.

Get rid of this ad!

Get Four DVDs for $.49 each. Join now.

Get your own web address!

Get your own webiste on Angelfire

Go meet somebody!


	2. The Living Dead?

Chatpter 2

"Raining again?" Hermione mused, looking out one of the many windows in the Great Hall. The bewitched celing was gray and cloudy, lightning flashed a few times followed by a few claps of thunder. Outside, however was cold and wet, icy rain streamed down the windows. "I suppose you'll be out there practicing Quidditch again today, right Harry?"

"By the looks of it, probably. Fred's just like Oliver sometimes. So determined to win a game." Harry replied, buttering a piece of toast. Ron sipped some orange juice and thought for a moment. 

"Hey Harry, where's Elizabeth been lately? I haven't seen her since noon yesterday." Quiet sweeped over Hermione and Harry. They had to admit that they were worried. Since summer she hadn't been eating well and she was almost always sick. Everytime they saw her it seemed like she was always getting thinner, her skin paler, and her eyes darker.

"I think she said she was feeling ill again. She should be in her room."

"Why doesn't she ever go to the Hospital wing? Madame Pomfry might be able to give her something to get her well again." Hermione asked, concerned.

"She doesn't want to attract attention. She says that she's not sick enough to bother with the hospital wing. She says she's just fine."

"Well, I don't think she's fine." Hermione crossed her arms. She hated everyone ignoring her like that.

"Hermione, there's nothing we can do. You know I can't get near her. And really, neither can anyone from Gryffindor." Ron sensed the anger in Hermione's voice and knew she was angry at injustice. "She'll pull out of it sooner or later, right Harry?"

"Right. Elizabeth's a tough girl. I mean, look at what she's been through already. She can take care of herself, she's just going to need time."

Hermione sighed and began reading one of her thick books. She looked up again, not being able to concentrate. As she did, she saw Elizabeth slowly walk in the Great Hall, cluthing a few books to her chest. Hermione nearly fell over when she saw her. Elizabeth looked like the living dead. Her usually tight long sleaved shirt under her baggy robes now hung off her. Her clothes were nearly falling off. She was so thin and frail looking. Her long crimson hair looked tangled and matted, it was also a bit uneven. She had cut locks out of it.

Elizabeth's skin wasn't the pretty ivory white that it usually was; it was a pale, sick yellow color. Kind of like Snape's sallow skin, only paler. And her eyes... her eyes were now dull, shineless green that had sunk into her skull and were surrounded by deep purple circles.

Hermione was speachless. She wanted to tell Harry to do something, but something in her just made her shut her mouth and go back to reading.

Get rid of this ad!

Get Four DVDs for $.49 each. Join now.

Get your own web address!

Get your own webiste on Angelfire

Go meet somebody!


	3. The Letter

Chapter 3

Half the day had alredy zoomed by, and it was time for Potions. To everyone's amazement, however, Snape had returned. True, he looked a bit rugged, but he was alive, well, and the same old Snape.

"Sit, everyone, now!" He snapped, looking at his role chart. He looked down the list of names, making sure everyone was there. He stopped, however, at Elizabeth's name. A smile touched his lips as he saw her name, but it quickly faded as he realized he hadn't seen her walk in. "Elizabeth Potter, is she here?" 

A thin, boney arm raised from the back of the room, her eyes not even registering that Snape had returned. They just stared at him, unblinking and uncaring.

Snape jumped slightly at the sight of her. Silence gripped the entire room, most eyes on Snape as they were all ready to pelt Snape and Elizabeth with insults. He blinked a few times, not believeing his own eyes. Elizabeth slowly put her arm down, her body swaying weakly with any movement. Snape opened his mouth to speak, but stopped suddenly as he watched her eyes start to flicker, then roll in the back of her head, her body sliding weakly onto the floor, blood oozing from her mouth. 

Snape's eyes widened and the only words that escaped his lips were "Oh, shit!" All eyes had turned from him to the fallen Elizabeth. Most students had fled their seats and were standing around her.

Snape ran to her and felt for a pulse. It was slow and weak, and he paniced. He immeadiatly picked her fragile body up in his arms and ran with her in the direction of the hospital wing, leaving the classroom in a buzz of whispers.

Tears ran down Hermione's cheeks and she punched both Ron and Harry's chests.

"I _TOLD_ you she wasn't fine!" Harry and Ron looked absolutly bewildered. 

Draco Malfoy was shaking slightly, not believeing what he just saw. He sank to his knees, holding his head in his hands. Arachne wrapped an arm over his shoulders, comforting him. 

**

Snape burst in the hospital wing with the lifeless Elizabeth in his arms. Madame Pomfry looked horrified. He immediatly set her on a hospital bed as Madame Pomfry bombarded him with questions.

"Poppy, I don't know what happened, but do something! She's about dead, look at her!" Madame Pomfry tested her pulse and found it slowing down rapidly. She ran for a vile of medicine that Snape didn't notice the writing, and forced down Elizabeth's throat. 

Elizabeth immeadiatly sputtered and coughed, a bit of blood dribbling down her chin. She was still uncounsious. Snape absentmindedly smoothed her hair on her forehead, not believeing that this was happening.

Madame Pomfry forced another vile of liquid down Elizabeth's throat, this time making Elizabeth vomit. The pushed her onto her side and let her continue until she was done. Madame Pomfry felt her pulse again and found it growing steady, though it was still very weak. 

"She needs lots of rest. I can't say what happened to her, but I think rest is in order." Madame Pomfry looked her over and frowned. "She looks like she tried starving herself." She pulled up the sleeves on her shirt and gasped. Snape glanced and his stomach turned. Deep scars ran across her wrists and arms, some looking fresh. "Oh my..." Madame Pomfry looked horrified.

"Poppy," Snape said suddenly. "I'm staying with her. I have a feeling this is partly my fault, I need to stay with her." 

Madame Pomfry frowned again, hesitating.

"Poppy, I'm not taking no for an answer, she needs me, I know it." Snape cringed a bit at his own words, knowing he was lying. But Madame Pomfry gave up and left Snape alone with Elizabeth, coming back only to drag a chair by her bed for him to sit.

When he was alone, Snape nearly collasped in the chair. He impulsivly reached out for her hand, holding it tightly as a tear ran down his cheek. "Why... Why would you do something so stupid?" he whispered. He suddenly noticed a piece of paper in her robe pocked. He picked it up, gasping at the words as he recognized them as a song. It was a song from one of those Muggle groups she liked. Snape clenched the paper as he realized that she was using it as a suicide letter. 

_  
Pick me up   
Been bleeding   
too long   
Right here Right now   
I'll stop this   
somehow   
I will make it go away   
Can't be here no more   
Seems this is the only way   
I will soon be gone   
These feelings will be gone   
These feelings will be gone   
Now I see the times they change   
Leaving us it seems so strange   
I am hoping I can find   
where to leave my hurt behind   
All the shit I seem to take   
All alone I seem to break   
I have lived the best I can   
Does this make me not a man?   
Shut me off   
I'm ready   
Heart stops   
I stand alone   
Can't be my own   
I will make it go away   
Can't be here no more   
Seems this is the only way   
I will soon be gone   
These feelings will be gone   
These feelings will be gone   
Now I see the times they change   
Leaving us, it seems so strange   
I am hoping I can find   
Where to leave my hurt behind   
All the shit I seem to take   
All alone I seem to break   
I have lived the best I can   
Does this make me not a man? _

Am I going to leave this place?   
What is it I'm running from?   
Is there nothing more to come?   
Am I gonna leave this place?   
Is it always black in space?   
Am I going take its place?   
Am I going to win this race?   
Am I going to leave this race?   
I guess God's up in this place?   
What is it that I've become?   
Is there something more to come?   
More to come   
Now I see the times they change   
Leaving us, it seems so strange   
I am hoping I can find   
Where to leave my hurt behind   
All the shit I seem to take   
All alone I seem to break   
I have lived the best I can   
Does this make me not a man?   
Now I see the times they change   
Leaving us, it seems so strange   
I am hoping I can find   
Where to leave my hurt behind   
All the shit I seem to take   
All alone I seem to break   
I have lived the best I can   
Does this make me not a man? 

Get rid of this ad!

Get Four DVDs for $.49 each. Join now.

Get your own web address!

Get your own webiste on Angelfire

Go meet somebody!


	4. Dumbledore's Announcement

Get rid of this ad!

Get Four DVDs for $.49 each. Join now.

Get your own web address!

Get your own webiste on Angelfire

Go meet somebody!

Chapter 4

A/N: Wowwie Wowwie! The day I put the story up, someone somments! I feel all Speshul now! Well, to those who are lost on who Elizabeth is... Elizabeth is Harry's older sister by 3 years. She has Green eyes, Red hair, looks like Lily, is in Slytherin and if you can't tell by now, in love with Snape. I had written a series called "Written in Ink" but it kinda flopped. I have plenty of pics on my web site of her and Snape. http://www.angelfire.com/dbz/neitherworld/home.html Thanks again for the comment!

After an entire day of Elizabeth in a coma and showing no real progress other than stable, Dumbledore decided to call a meeting in the Great Hall. Most everyone could already guess what he was going to talk about, and most everyone sat at their seats guiltilly.

Draco felt horrible as he sat at the Slytherin table. He had been there for her through last year, why did this year have to be different? He didn't know what he could do. All he could think about was the way Elizabeth looked right before she collapsed, then what she looked like after that. She looked dead. Maybe she had already died. Maybe that's what Dumbledore was going to announce; they all had helped kill Elizabeth Potter.

Draco shook slightly, burrying his face in his hands and batting Arachne away as she tried to comfort him. Arachne was no calmer about the situation. She knew she had been a terrible friend to Elizabeth. She glanced over at Echo Falguni. Echo looked back with guilt on her face.

The Gryffindor Table felt even worse if possible. Everyone was certain that Dumbledore was going to announce her dead. It would be their fault. Fred's for not letting Ron or George help her, Harry's for not being the brother he should have been, Hermione's for listening to Ron and Harry... the list went on. 

Dead silence fell on the room as Dumbledore stood. He cleared his throat and every eye fell on him.

"I believe there is not one person here who does not know why Elizabeth Potter is in the hospital wing. But if there is, I will clear the matter up. Elizabeth Potter had been depressed, and decided to take her own life by means of poison. She collapsed in Potion's class yesterday, and has been in a coma ever since. If not for Professor Snape, she would be dead." The crowd let out a breath. She was alive, at least. Dumbledore raised his hand to hush them. "However, depression this deep, was visible. Why no one reported her condition to me or anyother teacher is a mystery. Did anyone even ask if she was all right?" Students here and there looked at each other guiltilly, some even cried.

"I understand there was an article last year about rumors that her and a teacher were together. Why would any of you believe such rubbish? I can assure all of you, nothing is between her and Professor Snape that deserves any of this treatment. If anything has been felt between each other, Elizabeth has probably just had a crush, therefor, it is her business alone." He sighed. "This is a very serious matter. Everyone here has had a hand in this. It's the teachers' faults for not doing anything to help her, and the students' for not reporting this. Please, this is something not to be taken lightly. If you see anyone else like this or close, report immediatly. Help can be given, but sometimes it's too late. This is a case in which we may be too late."

Draco let out a saddened moan, shaking sobs. Hermione looked over and saw Snape. She was stunned when she noticed his eyes. They were red, as if he had been crying. He slumped forward and supported his head on his hand, propping himself up on his elbow. He gripped a fistful of hair and looked to be crying again.

"Elizabeth's condition is stable, but she is unconcious. If she changes, we will let you all know. But no visitations will be made until she is well enough to get out." He then dismissed everyone, although some were so shocked they could barely move.

Snape immediatly returned to the hospital wing, feeling guilty for leaving her. She was still unconcious, but at least all the potions they were injecting into her veins were starting to give color back into her face. He couldn't get over how she was paler than he was. A tear suddenly dripped onto her hand. He quickly whiped it away then rubbed his eyes, frustrated. He looked at her wrists again, frowning at the scars. He then pulled up one of his black sleeves and looked at his own scars across his wrists and all through that Dark Mark on his left arm. She was lucky. Her scars could be treated and made to not even appear. His were permanant. They had remained since _he_ was a Hogwarts student.

Snape sighed unhappily, leaning back in the chair and closing his eyes, starting to remember his nightmarish childhood.


	5. Nightmares

Get rid of this ad!

Get Four DVDs for $.49 each. Join now.

Get your own web address!

Get your own webiste on Angelfire

Go meet somebody!

Chapter 5

Severus Snape walked uncomfortly down the hall to the Slytherin Common Room, clutching his still burning left arm. His father made him get that mark put on his arm last night and Snape could swear he could still feel its burn. Lucius Malfoy suddenly slapped him on the back, grinning happily.

"Oy! All right, there Sevvie?" Snape cringed, a bit annoyed. Lucius had been there also when Snape had the mark branded into him. Lucius, however, was very proud of his mark.

"I'm fine, Lucius, but don't call me Sevvie, you know I hate that." Lucius grinned again, catchin sight of Lily Evans as her and James Potter were having another argument.

"Here comes your chance, Sevvie. Soon they'll break up again and you can ask her to the End of the Year Ball. You know, I think she kinda likes you. Of course, who could resist our little _Sevvie_!" Lucius laughed and ruffled Snape's long, shoulder-length black hair. Snape batted him away and blushed a bit.

"Oh come on. You know she wouldn't go with _me_ I mean _look_ at her." Lily's gorgeous crimson hair flowed over her shoulders in thick curls and her robes accented her sleek curves beautifully. Snape was nearly lost in thought. "Nah, she and James'll get right back together in time for the ball. You know they always do."

Lucius rolled his stone colored eyes. "You're way too hard on yourself. Look, I've seen the way she looks at you, she likes you. You've just gotta get to know her. And what better way than to take her to the ball. In your FACE, overgrown stoned Hamster!"

Snape looked at him oddly. "You really need to quit with all the sugar or something, Jesus." They continued to watch as James and Lily kept arguing until they eventually broke up again. Lucius then nudged Snape's ribs.

"Here's your chance, get her!" Snape shook his head, but Lucius had already started pulling him towards her and already started talking to her. "Oy, Evans! My friend here, Severus, really likes you and would like to ask you to the end of the year Ball. Would you go with him?"

Snape was in horror. He was blushing furiously, deeply embarrassed. "Lucius, I told you she's not going to--"

"I'd love to." Lily interrupted him suddenly. Snape's jaw dropped and Lucius looked smug.

"I-I knew she would say that!" Lily giggled, tossing her red hair off her shoulder casually. "Umm.. s-so see you outside your common room tonight at uh eight?" Lily smiled and nodded, heading toward the Gryffindor common room.

**

Eight o'clock seemed to whirl by so quickly. Snape had been getting ready for two hours straight, making absolute sure he looked perfect. He even pinned his long hair back into a pony-tail. He finally picked up the red rose he had layed aside for her and headed for the Gryffindor tower, where he waited for her.

Lily made her way down stairs slowly, looking radiant. She wore a silk emerald dress that matched her eyes perfectly, matching glittery shoes, and a shimmering silver bracelet. Her hair was left down in thick silky curls. Snape was speachless. He numbly handed her the rose as she hugged his arm, walking along side of him as they headed for the great hall.

Inside the Great Hall was fantastic. Everything was shimmering and sparkly. Couples were already dancing out on the floor to some quick paced music played by a band of witches. Lily giggled and pulled Snape out onto the dance floor. He was so nervous, but he did his best to hide it for her.

Hours seemed to fly by as they had the time of their life. Lucius occasionally came by to check on them and give Snape the thumbs up. It was getting close to the end and they were engaged in a slow song, dancing close together. Lily kept inching closer to him, but Snape would back away a bit, very nervous. Lily sensed his nervousness and squeezed his arm comfortly.

"Why are you so jumpy, Severus? I won't hurt you, you know." Snape's heart lept as she said his name. He swallowed dryly and smiled weakly at her.

"Guess I still kinda have those butterflies in my stomach.." he murmered. Lily kissed his cheek gently before slowly kissing his lips. Snape nearly fell as she kissed him. He kissed her back passionatly, running his right hand through her hair. To his horror, however, she ran a hand down his left arm, her fingers brushing the deep scar in his forearm. She pulled back, looking at him puzzled. He clutched his arm, trying to keep the sight away from her.

"Severus, what happened?" She asked softly. Snape was about to panic. She ran her hand over his, trying to take his hand off his arm. "Let me see, I want to help you, Severus." He gave in, not being able to resist her. He knew immediatly that he shouldn't have gave in. She gasped and pushed away from him. "You... You... You _bastard_!" She shrieked. Snape looked at her through terrified and sad eyes, trying to explain what happened. She wouldn't listen. She slapped his face, hard. "Stay away from me!"

As if things couldn't get any worse, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Petigrew had made their way over to see what was going on. James didn'y even ask what happened, just punched Snape in the nose, causing it to bleed. Snape clutched his nose and ran from the room, tears falling from his eyes.

Snape didn't stop running until he was back in the Slytherin common room and back to his room. He stood at a window, tears streaming down his face as he glared at the dark mark on his arm. He cursed his father for forcing him through that. He picked up the knife he kept under his pillow just in case and held it to the mark, hesitating for a moment before digging the knife into his soft flesh. He slashed repeatedly at the mark, trying to cut it out. A puddle of blood began to for on the floor underhim. It wasn't enough. He slashed at his wrists, hoping he had sliced the artery. He slashed over and over at the mark and at his wrists, slowing down as he swayed weakly. He dropped the knife, falling to the floor as everything went dark.


End file.
